First Step [Video; public]

[dogwalksyou]

Hello? Hello, yes.

[The dog comes into focus at an odd angle - the communicator is on the floor, between her forepaws as she peers down over it. Apparently satisfied that it's working, she yips in delight, rushing out of view in a close-up whirl of paws and tail and glimpses of an old timber ceiling as she spins in a circle. Then her face reappears, tongue hanging out slightly from her canine grin.]

Hello! I'm the Disreputable Dog. Or the Disreputable Bitch, if you want to be technical. Who wants to go for a walk?

Comments

[dogwalksyou]

No! Just me. Well, mostly me. But you wouldn't get any other real talking dogs, just things that were shaped like one.

[spetsnaz]

And you are real dog.

[dogwalksyou]

I'm the realest dog there is.

[spetsnaz]

What makes you more real than other dog? Dog who cannot talk.

[dogwalksyou]

I've stolen more chickens. Probably.

[She scratches an ear with her back paw.]

[spetsnaz]

It is impossible you are sure no dog has stolen more chickens than you, and this is bad definition of 'real'. This means I am not real.

Well, I am only little bit real. [ Because there was that one time. ]

[dogwalksyou]

You're really not a dog.

[spetsnaz]

But I have stolen chicken.

So what makes you real dog?

[dogwalksyou]

Not enough of them, obviously.

[spetsnaz]

At the time, it was enough chicken.

[dogwalksyou]

Now I really know you're not a dog.

[spetsnaz]

You avoid question, makes very annoying.

[dogwalksyou]

Well, you can't go around expecting straight answers every time. Especially not from people introducing themselves as Disreputable.

[spetsnaz]

I did not say what I expect, but I do wish good answer from everyone.

[dogwalksyou]

They were perfectly good answers!

[spetsnaz]

This is not accurate.

[dogwalksyou]

They weren't the ones you wanted. But I thought they were quite fun!

[Which is a perfectly good yardstick for goodness, in her opinion.]

[spetsnaz]

I did not agree.

[dogwalksyou]

Do you even have fun?

[spetsnaz]

No.

[dogwalksyou]

You can't really judge then, can you?

[spetsnaz]

I judge often times.

[dogwalksyou]

But not well.

[spetsnaz]

I judge extreme accurately.